For many of us there comes a time when we need, or want to make changes and improvements. We begin this process full of energy, commitment and enthusiasm but unfortunately, for most people this only seems to last for a few days, or weeks at the most. All too soon we go back to our old habits and simply repeat what we were doing before. But why does this happen?
The number one reason why many people don't get all they want in life is because they never truly decide, with precision, what to aim for and make it an absolute must.
Most of us have an idea of what we want (or don't want!), whether that be more money, a better business, to be fitter or have a better relationship for example. But unless we become very precise with what we're aiming at then our chances of realising our desired outcomes decrease enormously.
One of the most powerful coaching processes is helping someone create clarity about what they want.
Seeing is believing as they say. This means focusing on your future outcome or goal and fully associating into it. Being able to really see it, feel it, and know it as though it's already happening now sets the direction and begins to process your goal.Even if it was a long time ago do you remember taking an exam? Maybe at school? One thing about exams is that, very often, you knew a long time in advance the precise date and time it would take place. Maybe you'd even had years to study and prepare.
Although many of us wouldn't want to back to those days there is something very important you can learn from that process. It's the way the date and time are set in stone. There's no saying "I think I'll do it in a couple of months" because it wasn't an option. You have to gear your plans, your energy and resources towards a known point in time.
What if you treated your own most important goals with a fixed deadline?
By focusing on the future with clarity and precision, you create some internal pressure because there's a clear path of time towards your goal.
Another important aspect of creating clarity is to state it in the positive. Instead of wanting to 'lose' or 'get away' from something it's far more powerful to focus on what you will gain as a result. When we focus on something negative, like "I don't want to be over-weight", it tends to attract more of what we don't want because that's the picture we have in our minds.
I often ask people, when they state what they want, 'how will you know when you've got it?' or 'what's your evidence?' If you want to get rich, what precisely is 'rich?' If you want to be fit then 'how will you know if you're fit?' If you haven't decided how to measure it, precisely, you'll always be aiming for a moving target. And that can be very frustrating..
By creating a clear sensory based representation of what you want and deciding upon the evidence you need, the percentages begin swing in your favour. So what else will add power?
Think about ecology. In considering what you want, will it truly be worth the output? Are all the things that you'll contribute in terms of time, effort, money, and emotions worth the end result? If you have aspects of your outcome that are potential friction points then it can hold you back.
Finally, are you fully responsible for your goals? We can only be fully responsible for how we choose to feel and behave. Of course, other people may need to be involved but at all times we have to retain a sense of responsibility towards the outcomes that we want.
The secret of clarity is having all parts of you aligned towards your outcome. When all parts of you want the same thing and are pulling in the same direction it's amazing how much you can accomplish.
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How to Get Clarity on What You Want in Life