Getting Over My Ex Girlfriend In 7 Simple Steps

in Self-improvement

Many guys want help with the "getting over my ex girlfriend" phase, and there's certainly no shame in asking. A significant part of your life, your future and your regular routine has been changed, possibly without your consent and that can be shattering at worst, uncomfortable at least.

But help is at hand. Luckily (or unluckily) this has happened to trillions of men before, and we should know how to deal with it by now. Let's distil all of that universal wisdom down into 7 simple steps to get you back on your feet again quickly.

1. Make a decision that it's over.

Part of the hurt comes from losing something that was special to you, and if it was taken away without your consent, that makes it even worse. A good way to feel better is to take back some control of the situation and decide that it's over from your perspective too, and that no amount of begging would get you back together. The human mind doesn't cope well with incomplete stories, so the sooner you can put this in the "finished" file, the sooner you can move on.

2. Get rid of all reminders.

Any sentimental reminders of her need to go too. Don't go overboard, big stuff like Dodge trucks can stay and so too can half opened boxes of Granola, it's the stuff in the middle that you need to get rid of. Photographs, letters, texts, maybe even a tee-shirt or two. Stuff that has high sentimental value and that reminds you of her has to go.

3. Change where you hang out.

Bumping into her isn't going to help, especially if she's with a new date. Go to some new clubs, sports facilities and other hang out places. You'll make some new connections - some work, some social and some romantic too. You could even have a "getting over my ex girlfriend" place that you never went to before, and resolve never to go back again once you're feeling better. Think about whether you want to keep any facebook links too - the chances are you won't want to read about what she's up to every day of her new life without you. Ignore any urges to start cyber-stalking her too.

4. Take more control of your thoughts and feelings.

This whole area is a huge topic to study, but generally speaking you're probably feeling bad as a result of the thoughts that go through your head. Taking control of your thoughts and concentrating on what you want to have as opposed to what you don't want to have will help greatly. You can't think about what you don't want to think about, without thinking about it! So focus on a brighter future, make some travel plans, start reading a new book or anything that fills your head with positive new distractions.

5. Keep busy.

Keeping busy will help to keep your mind occupied as above, but also, physical activity has a great way of changing your emotional state too. It's almost impossible to exercise, play a sport or do any type of physical exertion (including that) and feel sad afterwards. If you can get involved with a build, repair or renovate project, that will help too.

6. Start to go out on dates only when you've decided it's time.

You'll probably get offers from well-meaning friends who want to introduce you to potential new partners. This is fine if you feel ready to start dating again. There's no law that says you have to, and to be honest, pouring your heart out about your loss to a new date probably isn't the best way for your or her to spend the evening. You'll know when the time is right.

7. Learn from the experience.

Winston Churchill said that he was always ready to learn, but didn't always enjoy being taught. You can apply that to reflections over what happened between you both. You don't need to spend too long ruminating over what happened, but there could be mistakes that you made last time round that you can learn from in order not to repeat again. Challenge yourself to find three positive learnings that will help you to enjoy a longer and happier relationship next time.

I can remember a time when getting over my ex girlfriend seemed like the biggest mountain to climb, I must say however, that the view from the top always looks better once you're there.

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Glenn Devey has 13897 articles online and 13 fans

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This article was published on 2010/09/13